March 2012
179 posts
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February 2012
111 posts
boney-eyes-jefferson:
I feel like I never belong anywhere. I never I never felt like I belonged at school, work, with my family, or hell ever tumblr. The only place I felt I belonged was with my ex-boyfirend and that was the biggest lie ever. I just want to find a place where I fit in.
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President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college. What a...
– Republican presidential candidate RICK SANTORUM, on Sunday’s Meet The Press.
No seriously. This guy is a fucking dick.
(via the Los Angeles Times)
The thing is, Santorum actually believes this. But in his defense, I can understand his self interest in ensuring fewer people go to college and...
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WITHOUT FLAW. THESE WOMEN ARE WITHOUT FLAW.
KRISTEN: Six beautiful -- some say handsome, women invited by the Academy not only to present three awards, but also to shatter the common belief that size does not matter. I hate to tell you guys this, but it kinda does.
MAYA: Yes, but not length. (Beat.) As my grandma used to say: it can be short and still make your toes curl. And I believe, in my heart, my grandma wasn't referring to wieners, but to short films.
KRISTEN: See, I'd rather have a short film with some heft that's nice to me rather than a long film that just lies there and makes you do all the work.
MAYA: Yeah, but sometimes a film can be too long.
KRISTEN: Not for me.
MAYA: What?
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The beginnings of the American Revolution,...
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
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It's just Tumblr... don't take it so seriously ;)
tyleroakley:
Tyler is a wise, wise man.
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